Being a writer is both the most exhilarating thing and the most terrifying. Writing is full of so many ups and downs that sometimes (more frequently than not) it’s hard to keep straight what’s going on in your emotion department. There’s nothing like finally putting the finishing touches on a manuscript and saying to yourself, “Hey, look at what I did. Look at what I created.” But, on the other hand, some of your lowest points can come as a writer too – like when you get a terrible review, or you’ve been rejected for the millionth time.
Writing is my passion, it’s what I want to do for the rest of my life. And there’s nothing like that feeling when you realize someone else has enjoyed something you’ve written, and you’ve maybe even helped them figure something out. Positive comments, reviews, even someone offering to re-post or re-blog something you’ve worked on, all give off this euphoric sense and suddenly you’re on Cloud Nine. It feels like nothing will be able to tear you down from the high you have.
Until you receive a nasty comment from someone on the internet. Or that person you’re catching up with scoffs at you when you inform them you’re a writer. Or a thousand other scenarios – if you’re a writer, you know what I’m talking about.
So then you have to pick yourself up by the bootstraps, tell yourself that what you’re doing does have worth, and start over. Soon you find a new idea – a great idea – the idea that’s going to send you over the top. And you pour yourself into it over the next few months (or years, depending on how fast/slow of a writer you are). The plot, the characters, the setting – they all become a part of you. You feel as if you’ve given everything to this piece, every ounce of your soul. Suddenly, you’re on Cloud Nine again, with a finished piece and confidence booming.
I think you know what’s coming next. More rejections, more negativity, more self-doubt.
Does it feel like a roller coaster yet?
The key to this never-ending cycle is to find ways to keep bringing yourself back up. Pep-talks (from either yourself or people close to you), rewards, even just simply pausing to reflect and realize that not everyone in the world can do what you’ve just done. You’ve created something entirely from your mind. Yes, you may have borrowed little ideas here and there, but the words, they’ve come from you. No one can take that from you and don’t ever let anyone think that they can.
Even with all the bad that’s been thrown into the occupation, I still wouldn’t change a thing. To be writer is more important to me than most people understand. It allows for my brain to think up possibilities that wouldn’t normally exist, or walk in the shoes of someone I know I will never meet. Writing gives me the freedom to be who I want to be and not have to apologize for it. When I write, I have no boundaries.
People say that birds are the luckiest animals, because they have the ability to fly freely in the air and go wherever it is they want to go without limitations. Well when I put my pen to a piece of paper, or my fingers brush against the plastic of my keys, I feel like a bird.
So even though it’s like I’m constantly riding on the Leviathan roller coaster at Canada’s Wonderland, with moments where it feels like I’m hurtling towards the ground about to meet my demise, I’m prepared to stay on this ride for the remainder of my life. Because if that’s what it takes to be a writer, I’m there.
Until next time.